I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
COCAINE IS GR8
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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