do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
