Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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