So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
