I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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