i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
