after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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