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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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