Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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