Where is the hickey?
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
