I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
