She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
