so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I am mentally ready for anal.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
