On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize