She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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