He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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