youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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