Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
