singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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