She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
