guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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