It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
