how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
