so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize