so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
