Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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