I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
