We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
