haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
