There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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