Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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