so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
