come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
