I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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