so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
