i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
