i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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