so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
