Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
