Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
