If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
