Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Randomize
