Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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