ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
