it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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