I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
