Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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