Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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