Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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