Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Is it because I queefed?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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