Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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