Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
