Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I think I sprained my soul last night
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
