I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
