Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Boobs are out for the taking
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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