Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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