I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
