Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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