pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
