if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
handjob tips. give me some.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
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