I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Randomize
